Thursday, February 28, 2008

Goodbye, Litmus Test

As most of you may or may not know, I am very technologically versed. I, frankly, marvel at what man has accomplished over the past 20 years. Everything still surprises me at what we are capable of and hopefully with the coming Fall of the Roman Empire remak--I mean election , we human beings might still be able to see that flying car we were promised 50-60 years ago.

This, however, brings up a bad part which has effected our society greatly and had, alas, gotten rid of our only means of shifting thru those who are mentally insane. I, of course, refer to the Bluetooth.

The Bluetooth has damaged our society more than you can ever imagine. A bold statement, I know, but consider this situation:

You're walking around a narrow hallway (enough for two people to cross easily) and you see before you a man on the other side. As you get closer, it appears that this gentlemen is talking to himself. What do you do?

A) Turn around the other way and pray he does not take notice.
B) Panic and start to look for the nearest security terminal.
C) Carry on and pay the man no mind.

I remember the time where the answer used to be a simple A. Maybe even B if you were a bit paranoid. Generally, people talking to themselves should be avoided and/or committed. However, Blackberry's pose a problem: how do we know who's talking on a Bluetooth and who isn't?

More and more, we must consider the fact that our lives are in great danger. One wrong guess could spell horrible, mutilated death for you and your loved ones! ...or just some hobo asking for change. Either way, are you willing to risk your family's well being (or your change: how else will you feed the meter?) on the gamble that the skinny-looking black man or the stout Hispanic talking to himself further down the road is using a Bluetooth, or is he discussing with the Elder Gods about selecting you as next on the list of sacrifices to appease the hunger of Great Cthulhu?

America, the Litmus test is gone! No more are we safe from our rational and logical thoughts of avoiding people on the streets talking to themselves! Gone are the days where such situations could be avoided! You will now never really know now when you're walking around your college campus and hear a man right behind you, talking to himself, that he's not actually a crazy psycopath stalking you...or a harmless(?) college student just talking on his Bluetooth.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A Cruel Ironry

Today is the day of many things.

First off, today is Super Tuesday, the day that 10 states supposidly decide the fate of our Presidental nominees. Unfortunatly, due to my living in North Carolina, I am unable to particpate in such a thing. With the disappoint of Flordia mainly due to the "Independent" (aka liberal) influence, there is a strong illusion that McCain is the Republican front runner. That is, of course, if you just read the New York Times or most of the Mainstream Media outlets, (which they can't stop raving about how much they love John McCain...which should be red flag #1)

Unfortunatly, due to the situation that liberals have put us in, we are now left with two Republicans that I'd rather not see in office. (I was a Thompson supporter, FYI).

It's like picking up the leftovers of a buffet. We either have between the skinny looking chicken, or the overdone steak. I'll leave it to you to decide which one describes which canidate. I'm, unfortunatly, rooting for Romney, because at least he's a Republican. With McCain, being a liberal Republican (which we already have a term for: Moderate Democrat), he hardly follows anything that the Republican party stands for. So it's pretty much anyone's guess when he's going to finally do what he should have done already and switch parties. Maybe he's just waiting to see if he gets elected before he betrays the GOP. Well, even more than what he has already.

And in the trash of the buffet we call the Democractic ticket, we have Hilarly "Feminist only when it's convient, then I cry Crocodile tears" Clinton against Barack "Radical Ideas=GOOD!" Obama. With Edwards gone (Thank you sweet merciful Christ), it's left to pick the lesser of two evils.

So, as it appears, we're properly screwed this coming election. No matter who wins, the American people lose. Which brings up to another importance of today: Mardi Gras

For those of you non-Catholics, Mardi Gras is the last day before the season of Lent that we can actually (amoung other things) drink, before we fast for 40 days. With what lies before us, I suggest you take full advantage of this; it's going to be a rough 40 days.